Swerve by Sherilee Gray
My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Stow your pitchforks and riot gear. I have an unpopular review and am hoping everyone will respect my opinion. To be completely forthright I’ve been on a DNF kick and Swerve is not my first and most likely won’t be my last victim.
The book starts with Shay leaving a party in a skimpy Poison Ivy costume. She’s followed by a drunk idiot wearing a Batman costume. You’re led to believe she’s so attract she not only inadvertently lures the Batman guy but also inspires Hugh (super hot, mountain-sized man) to risk his entire illegal car operation to give her a ride home. Alright- at this point in the book I’ve agreed to “play along” with the set up and keep reading. Shay is described as curvy with red hair. I’m imagining a classic hour-glass figure. You know… T&A with a small waist. Further into the story you discover Shay recently quit her job because her boss (another man who was attracted to her) was over-sharing their sex life and discussing her with colleagues around the company water cooler. In yet another scene she’s approached by a customer at the bar she waitresses at asking her out. So now (as the reader) I have a pretty solid impression of Shay and have determined she’s a knock out. Basically, she’s got more men than she can shake a stick at. Lest ye forget- most of these men haven’t spoken with her so their attraction is purely physical.
Imagine my surprise when her figure is described in her work uniform (tiny t-shirt and skinny jeans) and it mentions her belly jiggles. Hmmmm- weird. That didn’t sync with my mental image of her. Just how “curvy” is this gal who’s attracting so many men? But, what do I know…maybe her skinny jeans were way, way too tight and causing tummy overflow. Still an odd thing to mention/describe. TRUTH-I could have lived the rest of my life without imagining her belly jiggling.
The first intimate scene was enjoyable. The only mention of her body is that her breasts are fuller than a handful. I have zero problems with this description and it once again supports the femme fatale image I’ve developed for Shay. Gotcha. We’re back in business.
Prepare yourselves…plot twist. What in the whaaaaaaaaaaat??? Guess what? When Shay and her friend are shopping for clothes they mention she’s self concious about her arms because they’ve been described as stuffed sausages. What in heck? This description threw me for a loop. I put down my kindle and literally tried to picture even a single person I know who has “stuffed sausage arms” but came up blank. To me- that description is far more fitting for someone who is morbidly obese. But if that was the case, how is she driving so many men wild? BEFORE YOU GO CRAZY- Let me say I think plus size women can be very attractive and have enjoyed reading several romances where the heroine was a “larger” lady. At this point I have ZERO clue what this chick looks like and am finding it increasingly hard to immerse myself in the story.
